"What level have you played at"?!

The Ref approached me with an authoritarian swagger holding out his right hand firmly, whistle grasped in his left….
I, only a few metres away, perspiring profusely and with blood trickling down my forehead, my body broken and creaking with every step, as I pull my scrum cap from my head letting more sweat pour over my strained face and I then unlock my gum shield from my mouth gasping desperately for much needed breath!

A huge below to inhale finding some relief in this serene pause, I welcome the Ref with my tired and seriously strapped right arm, reaching forward leaning in to hear him, heart pounding, jersey-soaked from the rain…….

“Afternoon Skipper, 10 minutes to kick off, shall we do studs?”

Oh Mother of Mary, we haven’t even started…..I thought!!!
Welcome one and all to 19/20 Vets style!!
Summer seems a long way off as the trees shake off their leaves and I have been watching the industrious squirrel in my garden preparing for what must be a long winter ahead and we have only played two games; tough ones too!

Of course winning last season’s league and cup unbeaten feels good for a few weeks and by mid May it’s mostly forgotten, June through till September its nothing but a blur, but in October it remerges in a different form; everyone wants to thrash you!
Yet as my last season as Skipper of this brilliantly talented and kind-hearted group of people, I will do everything in my power to avoid that.
I do, however, have some sad news to report.

There is amongst our ranks a member of the community who openly doubts the abilities of all the players, the organisational prowess of Gus and Christy and, (believe it or not Jose), the iron rod grasped by yours truly. I have it on good authority that this individual, who will now be known as doubting Thomas has recently absconded to Turkey; best he remain there!
And so to the season……

Despite best endeavours early friendly fixture couldn’t be secured so our first proper run out was away to….., well let’s say, an Esher BaBa side with a few Vets lending a hand! It wasn’t a league encounter and as I’ve explained to the lads we only play ‘league fixtures’ or ‘non-league fixtures’, no such thing as a ‘friendly’!

As it transpired Esher BaBa / Academy also played by the same mantra and were certainly out to prove a point as they flew at us with considerable attacking from the start. Considering a good few of them had probably been training with the senior end of the Club since mid-July, the speed of attach was not usual Vets tortoise style!

Jose was a little disappointed, (read that carefully, I didn’t say ‘disappointing), as he had brought a mate down to watch and was actually hoping to sit back and relax himself and watch Netflix sequel ‘James & Jacko tear it up’ Series two! However, he sadly had to make do with new kid on the block a certain Mr Tim Roles!

For the record it has taken Gus a full two years to get Rolsey back to playing and for someone who hasn’t run out for over 8 years he did pretty damn good! Welcome back Rolsey, its been far too long!

So anyway, we pretty much absorbed the enthusiastic teenage testosterone and then started to find our own pattern – slower!
Many of you know I am a stats man, so I can reliably confirm that:

Kick off: we were both 0:0
Half time: I think we were losing
Full time: We won 37:46

I don’t recall much else a) because I had to play hooker and spent most of the afternoon looking at our No8 boots and b) it was two weeks ago!
I do know that Morgs scored the first try of the season as well as Lewis, Codo, Mace and Gibbo x 2 and Mace also scored 3 cons and 1 Pen and a new baby in the off-season; now that’s a cracking result – huge Congrats!

Last weekend, which I do have a better recollection of, we ventured over to Richmond to take on our close cousins the Heavies in our first league encounter. With all the usual pre match-day preparations well and truly sorted by Thursday morning I still had plenty of time to contemplate tactics, namely counting out the Green and Yellow jelly babies for the backs to run through their moves with.
With no England v France fixture to distract people we were surprisingly slightly light on numbers, but all the same with Thomas in Turkey I was very happy!

Wet weather, slight breeze and a brimming Heavies squad of 42, er 32, …..errrr, 22 milled around the pitch whilst we went through our ‘elite athlete’ warm up drill; I kid you not! We had the kick off and in usual style, Heavies played a wide ball controlled by their very smooth handed No. 10 in Flynny which gave the Heavies’ backs plenty of opportunities to run hard at us. However, our defence proved to be outstanding throughout the entirety of the match and we competed very effectively at the breakdown.

Although Heavies scored first, the guys had been well-prepped mentally and knew that they weren’t going to let the Heavies bully or intimidate and, ironically, for the first time that I have known of in recent playing years, we actually dominated many aspects of the game, not least the scrum where (on occasions) we had the Heavies going backwards.

I must say, huge shout for Mark who plays tighthead in an imposing way yet also runs ball-in-hand continuing to make hard yards - He made life very difficult for the Heavies’ loosehead.

Unfortunately, on the other side of the scrum, Beans had a difficult time against the Heavies’ tighthead and sadly left he pitch with an injury. This meant yours truly had to move out of the most enviable position of hooker into the loosehead spot…!

… And on came Mozza as step-in hooker. I really want to make a mention here because Mozza only got the call late on Friday afternoon asking if he would be able to play for us. The last time he did so was on a similar call when he played for us against London Irish back in December. So, for somebody who is on the other side 50 having not played for 10 months, he did an outstanding job which helped us to continue to compete with great effect at scrum-time.

In the lineout, the darts weren’t the best for Gibbo and Jacko to work with but we still had a considerable height advantage and our five-man lineout certainly proved to be highly effective.

But where this game was really won was based on our attitude and the sense of belief which we have come to own as our right, but not with any arrogance. As ever, heavies never laid down and attacked right up until the last moment just to close the score marginally. This was now a third defeat on the trot to a highly efficient Barnes Vets.
I have it on good authority that there was a discussion between both sides’ backs – you know, the kind, ‘Our winger is faster than your winger’.
‘Oh no, he’s not.’
‘Our fullback is better than your fullback.’
‘Oh no, he’s not.’
‘Our nail varnish is prettier than your nail vanish’…
… ‘Oh yes, it is’!

Interestingly, it’s been reported by our incredibly nimble No. 9, Crofty, who does not suffer fools gladly that one of the Heavies players took a liking to him….here’s part of his account……

Recovering from the late hit, having not been knocked down (of course), I politely asked the gentleman in question what he thought he was doing.
It seemed that he had taken a dislike to me...or to the thrashing we were inflicting on them. And he told me to do one.

I enquiringly asked "why are you so crap at rugby for such a big bloke?".

He was taken aback by the choppsy, yet defiant 9. His reply is one that will stay with me for a few seasons to come.
"What level have you played at"?! He bellowed.

I would also like to mention Sully who stepped in to play for us and had an outstanding game at No. 8 showing considerable fitness and flair in his playing style, certainly not for the first time in playing for the Vets against the Heavies. I very much looking forward to future games with him.

A huge point of gratitude also goes to Huw, Pagey and Owen and particularly, Tim, who sustained a big hit that took him off the pitch. Their commitment in supporting this fixture was highly important.

Tries:
James, Jacko…but of course! And Sully, Morgs and Crofty
Cos: Mace x 4

We have a break now to enjoy the important business end of RWC which will give us an opportunity to support our 1ST XV who are holding their own in an incredibly competitive National Two South league. They will have much home support this coming Saturday when they take on close neighbour, Sutton and Epsom.
Skips/Finche