Barnes Ladies (10) Vs Maidenhead (5)

Barnes (10) Vs Maidenhead (5)

A match that was all about quality not quantity...and jazz hands.

On yet another fine Sunday in London (I suppose at least for those that are allergic to Vitamin D) the Barnes Ladies rocked up at Barnes Elms to take care of some business. That business happened to be Maidenhead and the 52-0 tune up they dished out to us on their immaculate, goose crap free pitch back in November last year. We were confident we could handle this lot as we knew the said goose crap would drastically slow them down, whereas we just don't feel right without it under our boots (..or in our hair...or on our faces...).

The match began at a high tempo with the quick running backs of Maidenhead running the ball side to side but Barnes did an excellent job of scrambling together to tackle them down and prevent the desired break through they were looking for. Barnes started to get a bit of ball themselves and crashed the ball in time and time again through Rhiannon , Lorraine , Chrissie and Rachel gaining precious ground. The backs had a few nice moves allowing Fran and Sarah to break the lines but we weren't able to get that final piece of the puzzle.
Maidenhead with a few slick moves were able to get the ball into their attacking zone and the long legged, curly haired number 12 was able to dodge and weave her way over the try line to open the scoring. Barnes regrouped and continued to push forwards. With a few minutes left in the half, the ball spilled loose for the Maidenhead number 13 to pick up, however, she couldn't get pass Steph who put a sublime tackle on her but unfortunately as the player was brought to ground she hit some friendly fire in the form of her teammates knee/thigh/hip to her head. Suspecting a possible head or neck injury the match was put on hold whilst an ambulance was called.

Cue the longest half time break in history. Barnes Ladies, ever the entertainers and not wanting the crowd of seven (thousand) to get bored we put on our own little league style half time touch rugby match. The long break also allowed for something quite unusual and a definite first for me. A sing-a-long with the opposition team. It was so cold that conversations were even had about how we could settle the match - a boat race, thumb wars, tug o' war, a dance off...in the end we decided to do what we came here to do and that was to beat Maidenhead at rugby because we would destroy them in anything else and it just wouldn't be fair.

Forty minutes, 3 songs and multiple chocolate bars later we moved onto another pitch to commence the second half. The main aim of the second half, as well as trying not to have the 4th ambulance called to one of our matches this season, was to focus on our defensive line. With a quick tutorial from Steph on how to do the "you'll never get through here" dance with jazz hands the girls were ready. The second half was an arm wrestle with the majority of the play taking place in Maidenheads defensive twenty-two. Aided by a strong breeze, Steph was able to kick for territory keeping Barnes largely out of any danger. Through some great rucking and mauling from the forwards Barnes started to get on top. A bullet like 10m pass from Lucy to stand off allowed for space out wide to then get it to Fran who got it to April "legs eleven" Windle who was never in doubt of scoring what was a great team try to level the scores at 5 a piece. In future though April, the stand off would like to request that you score your tries under the posts and not out on the far right corner on a very windy day!
With the match very much in the balance both teams were working hard. Barnes, however, lifted their work rate and started hitting contests hard and winning the loose the ball. Maidenhead on the other hand, started to drop like flies with injury after injury. Even the referee wasn't immune, hitting the deck after being tripped up by Rachel. Might be time to get something done about those cataracts hey grandma?!

Barnes continued to look for that winning score knowing there were only minutes to go. Maidenhead won a penalty and kicked to touch deep in their attacking zone. Luckily for Barnes, they gave away a penalty for not throwing it straight allowing Steph to kick deep and the flying V of Fran, Linda and Laura to track the ball and lock it in within scoring distance for Barnes. With literally seconds on the clock the forwards won the ball and got it out to Fran who went flying down the wing, millimeters from the touch line, breaking through multiple tackles to score what would be the match winning try! If you could watch this back in slow motion I would suggest playing it to a mash up of Mariah Carey's "Hero", Bette Midler's "Wing Beneath My Wings" and M C Hammer's "You Can't Touch This".

What a match! Barnes have yet again turned an early season smashing defeat into a glorious home game win!
Forward of the match should really go to all of you (Emma, Lorraine, Kat, Danie, Rachel, Emily, Jo, Chrisse) but in the end it went to Rachel for her ability to stare down (or rather squint down) the opposition and nail them (referee included).
Back of the match again could go to all of them (Lucy, Steph, Linda, April, Rhiannon, Laura, Fran, Sarah) but it goes to Rhiannon for her amazing ability to find space and crash the ball in over and over again. She also gets the quizmaster award for her ability to recall absolutely useless and random information and being the catchphrase Queen as demonstrated at the pub quiz after the match.

Next on the agenda for the all conquering Barnes Ladies is Super Saturday on March 16th at The Jolly Gardener’s to watch the 6 Nations then another underdog rematch with the Southampton Trojans on March 24th at home. This will be our last home game of the season so hope to see all your faces there!

“Ruck On!”