Dorking trouble Harrodians.....

And a number of you were curious to know why this report didn’t materialise on Sunday morning as normal; ……..all explained later!

So here is the news in brief as I know many of you want to know what’s going on in the World of rugby…….Vets style!

Ed Staffs is still away filming on location, Jonny has been back out East to see the ‘second’ family, Barnaby did mange to surface for the Sinners Supper, but is now back in hibernation, Springy, Barney, Pini and Codo are still nursing hamstring tear’s after a bizarre Barney warm up and Jose has got one of his infections back again! Sheds is still out with a torn shoulder and the ‘Little and Large’ show in brothers Gillespie were sorely missed on family duties!

Though despite having a free weekend on the 2nd to watch the Wallabies be beaten in dreadful style, we were still very low with availability of players, indeed I wonder if too much emphasis is being placed upon the weather, or is dreaded push chair duty creeping back!! I’ve told you all before…….Pebbles, candles, cushions, (small scatter ones – which you can actually pick up from any good charity shop in Chelsea!) and hand cream should win you the ‘passes’ you require from your better half!

So as Thursday arrived we actually were very low on numbers, (only 14) and we nearly ended up calling Richmond to see if we could borrow their mole,…..err sorry Prop , again! Our non London Irish fixture with Dorking was duly confirmed and by Friday we even had to ask our esteemed Chairman if he fancied a wee trot, but overseas family commitments detained him. Thus the perceived evil mastermind in Gus sent me a shortlist of potential players who he felt we may have to slot into the missing position of Loose head, they were:
A) Clappy B) Beney C) Duncan D) Brucie E) Gundog!

But of course when you filter out basic criteria of ‘Man enough’ you loose C and E; gnarly enough and you loose B! So when Clappy and Brucie were asked…..”Guys we need one of you to play Prop and will throw in a meal for two at the Ivy, Spa day for one with ‘special’ Jacuzzi treatment and a case of New World Red”…………Clappy replied within a second ‘Nope’! And thus Brucie stepped up and said he would play but would prefer a year’s supply of Conditioner……..for those of you that know him you realise that cots us more!

So with just 14 players and Duncan we awoke on Saturday to a deluge of rain which did not let up until 2pm exactly, which kinda suggests to me that Pope Francis (a Puma supporter) must have some fairly efficient rugby bias prayers up his cassock! When we last played Dorking in January it was like a pigs orgy, with more mud on us than on the pitch, so to see the rain pass was a relief.

Now on a serious note, this game was immensely important to us so that we got our preparation right in anticipation of our clash with the mighty Heavies and so we took a leaf out of Duncans rule book……all turned up random and late, (except for Nick Hamilton who is actually permanently ‘random’), smoked a few, drank a bit, the kit was left in a pile on the floor and we told exaggerated stories of chat up lines that worked!!

On taking to the field Dorking had a noticeable bench, but we had Sean Gibson, our own Paul O’Connell so we didn’t need a bench!!n Sean unfortunately goes back to Cork for the next few months so will be missed.

Our kick off and we were quick to realise that Dorking were well up for this fixture and we were going to have to work hard. We did the basics well and scrummaged pretty well with Brucie doing an excellent job in giving JC a great platform to hook from. In the lineouts Sean gave us some great options an din the loose we all played really well, but our ball was far too slow at the ruck.

We knocked on quite a lot and gave Dorking far too much ball to play with.

What we did do really well was talk a lot, which indeed I did ask for, only problem was it was mainly ill discipline and back chat to the ref. Had the Dorking 10 converted as many kicks as attempts the score margin would have been stacked much higher in their favour!

A few mentions must go out to Clappy who yet again put in a magnificent game yet again, (Mate have a great trip to the Maldives and see you in two weeks), JC at Hooker had a good game in the loose and special mention to Beney for great work rate.

Dorking played with real determination and if it wasn’t for a few solo efforts by Morgs the result would have been a very different one than the score suggests.

We won, but we have a mountain to climb. Mind you so do Richmond it seem who lost to Olney this w/e!!!

The side that played was:
1. Bruice
2. James Carlin
3. Finch
4. Beney
5. Duncan
6. Nicky B
7. Clappy
8. Sean Gibson

9. Gus
10. Marek
11. Nick Hamilton
12. Morgs
13. Josh
14. Gundog
15. Si Smithers

Tries: Morgs 3, Gundog and JC x1
Cons: Marek x 2

Have a great w/e off and see you all on the 23rd recovered and injury free…..
Skips

PS – Why is the report late…….Hmmm……..how can I put it……err Skips was away with the fairies!!!!