The Three Tragedies…….

To everyone’s amazement and delight our proper Vets fixture with Cobham away at their sumptuous Club remained intact and was not cancelled at the last hour to be replaced by some Barbarian Uni team back off the 10s ciruit!! And to make life even more fun we had seven on the bench!

13.30….
Skips arrived

13.40…..
Marek and Spence arrived
Now for those who don’t know Paul……….well allow me!! I have played many a feisty fixture in the past with Spence and often Thursday night training would see sparks fly especially with Spence (and if memory serves me correct I am sure Euge gave you a little slap once……!?) So Spence is from the hard school of knocks…………….well thats what he likes us to think and he has now been elevated to become an intricate part of the coaching structure at the Senior end of the Club where he follows in a well trodden path of superior player management as set by my beloved Buster and of course Carson………., but deep down Spence is a wannbe Gundog!!!

13.43…
Sheds arrives
Now you will understand that as my injuries meant I had to pass the Captaincy on, the first natural choice would be Vice, but our dependable Jonny is away in Singapore seeing family because……..well……..because he is and had he used His name he might not be doing so………! So the natural choice was obviously Sheds, not because he is a fellow prop and all his secrets stay with me, but more importantly because I knew he would take no c*!p from Spence!
Sheds and I discussed strategies, tactics, moves, calls, lines of running, switch moves, scissors, car trouble, more secrets, line out calls and agreed he could wear my shirt as long as he didn’t stretch it too much!!!

13.46…..
Nicky B and kit arrived
A minute late…………hmmm…………
Now Nicky B like his fellow back row player Spence, is also from the school of knocks.
He arrived with a huge gash across his temple, definitely worthy of stitches and still weeping. Version one of events is that last Friday night on the way past his Kebab shop he got involved win a fight with three Women who were arguing over which one of them most resembled a Donner………………enough said!! And anyway he got punched by one of them as he tried to help them see reason and that in fact all three of them in fact looked like a Donner Kebab!! However, Version 2 of events is that the scaffolding which Marek’s boys had put up did not have enough high vis protection around it and Nick B walked into it……………..clearly knocked out and away with the fairy’s!!

13.55…….
Rest of the boys arrived, errrr but not Duncan and Splints……yet!

14.30……..
Warm up seems to be going well and Cobham concentrating on their line out work!!

14.55……
Duncan and Splints arrive………..
Weather – perfect, sky blue with some cloud…..nice clouds actually……the big white fluffy ones!!!!

14.59……
Team huddle – vibe is good, guys are switched on and Sheds is stretching my shirt!

15.00………
BOOM!!!!
Out of the blocks, running rugby all over the place, calls are good lines being run at all angles

15.05……
Our scrum, carries by Spence, Jerry G and Codo goes over to score/Marek misses conversion
Pini Hamstring gone!

15.15…..
More scrums – we dominate – Jose makes a great break, we have a lineout and form all of that Gundog scores a great try and Marek converts.

Though we have conceded 4 penalties and the Gladiator of Clappy has come off injured after having carried five Cobham players on his shoulders who collapsed on him!

15.21…..
Penalty against us

15.22…..
Penalty against us, (NO.. not a copy/paste error!)

15.27…..
Great pick and go with a few phases and Russ Barnes, (who tells me he has now turned 40……….cant believe it!!) went over for a cracking try with superb running lines – Marek converts.

15.30….
Our lineout – massive back interplay and Marek sends Jose on a trajectory which is simply awesome – Jose scores, Marek misses conversion.

You know……when you watch a game all you really see is the backs and there fancy footwork, you don’t really notice the less glamorous grunt of the forwards……but I did! And the boys played well and with an ‘air’ of professionalism brought to the style of play we used - luv it!

15.35…..
MORE penalties against us, actually 12 now, but its half time and we are 24 – 0 up.
Spence is still on the pitch! Codo is playing like a 20 year old, the back line is frighteningly good, the pack is dominating the set piece. BUT! Pens too high because we are not on our feet at the ruck.

15.57…..
Err………cant remember, because it was all so fast and furious but I know Splints was involved and made a great off load to Marek who scored and converted his own try!
Splints Hamstring now gone!!

16.00……
Another penalty against us!

16.03…….
Our lineout and a very loose ball which no one could get to, other than………………yeap………Marek, great individual try which he converts.

Barney Hamstring now bloody gone!!!

What the hell did Barney do during the warm up???? Three hamstring injuries in 60 minutes three Tragedies of a very different kind and of serious concern………….ice Guys……………plenty of ice!!!!

16.09…….
Now this is where a few events need to be put into context.
Ed has already come on for Gus at 9 and Gus is now on the touchline – smoking!
Barney goes off injured and as I am busy sending text messages to firm up the evenings proceedings, I didn’t notice that Gus had brought him self back on the pitch at wing!

Next there is some sort of a calamity 5 metres out from the Cobham touchline and the ball spurts out in Gus’s direction………..I am standing under the Cobham goal post, juggling phones, note pad etc and look up to see the ball coming Gus’s way………….I have the perfect vantage point to witness and describe what resembled a 13 year old boy creeping round boarding school dormitories well past lights out with a stack of Playboy Anniversary editions which he has just received as payment for doing an older boys prep………….lights suddenly on and House Master catches him out……’Boy……what have you there?’ bellows the voice. Boy panics, freezes, almost stops dead, thinks, realises the gravity of the situation………………well some how Gus caught, fumbled and fell over the line!!!

Under the posts the Cobham lads were equally shocked but I told them we wont treat it as an officail try!
Marek converted.

16.13…..
Off our scrum Jose receives a great ball, but more importantly my plans for evening proceedings are all in place!
Marek missed the conversion, (Quade……I may have to remove the title).

16.17…..
And this is the main lesson from the game – Cobham scored and converted!!

1. Cobham never once gave up, I heard them under the sticks for the 8 times they gathered and we punished them and they always delved deep to find something. They found it, which was to capitalise on our weakness in our defence and thus their try was the best try of the match because it was the hardest to score and for that I respect Cobham immensely.
2. When we go ahead against Richmond we have to play with ferocity to the last second, if we switch off for even 10 seconds Richmond will find a way to beat us………..do you want that?

Beer and Banter ensued afterwards and next week we continue more of the same AWAY to Guildford, your Skips will be back for that one!!!

The team that played was:

1 Ron
2 Code’s
3 Sheds (Capt)
4 Clappy
5 Duncan
6 Spence
7 Gundog
8 Nicky B

9 Gus
10 Marek
11 Pini
12 Jose
13 Russ
14 Stu Os
15 Barney

16 JC
17 Beney
18 Brucie
19 Ed
20 Smithey

Have a great week.......I will !!!

Skips/Finche/Rich (and now apparantly 'Darling'!!!)